Coline blog comment
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“and taught him to reassure me when I ask him. » Yes! Very important point in my opinion: educate our children on this kind of thing 🙌🏼 Explain to them that we are not just old jerks but that we love them and that we do not want anything bad to happen to them, that we need to be reassured and know that they are safe. Since she was little, we taught our daughter to stay with us when we were outside and even today, at 10 years old, she is still very careful and gives us a hand, always stays close to us when traveling or in the parks attractions, etc. Without being freaked out by life either, she just knows that for her own good it is important that she stays close to us or the adult who accompanies her. When I think that when I was a little kid my passion was to hide in stores when I went out with my mother… it gives me a cold sweat 😱 😂 So even if today she is still very little I I am very hopeful that the day she no longer wants this watch (like in 2 years… middle school… 😶) she will continue to be careful and be aware that we also need to know where it is etc.
I am for connected objects to follow children. I live in Switzerland, and I see little Swiss-Germans who have been going to school alone since the age of 5 (yes, little 5 year old babies…). When our son stopped daycare at the age of 7 to start primary school, he had to go alone from school to after school at lunchtime to go eat. Except that one day, he made up a story about being attacked (even though he just didn't want to tell us that he had gotten lost and arrived late at home) and then we freaked out. Even in this land of care bears… we bought the weenect tracker. He knows what it is, it's at the bottom of his bag and it has an SOS option, contains 10 minutes of telephone communication and 3 predefined buttons that send us messages. He doesn't come home alone yet (he's 8 years old) but we took him for this purpose. We also use it whenever we go to a place where there are crowds (kikou football matches and Christmas markets). It also lacks precision, but that's also because it's often inside. For the moment it suits us well. They did this process for seniors, as well as for dogs and cats. I'm not ashamed to say that we follow him. It’s a way to reassure us. And him too at the same time.
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And I'm even considering poking him when I go running alone after dark...
Hello :) I think we have to “live with the times” (half-old/half-young phrase?) exactly! I have 2 boys: 10 and 7 years old and I can only understand the anxieties you describe! Here too they ask for more freedom and here too however I live in a small village / quiet corner but even... When we are parents and when we know the unfortunate news items that fill our newspapers almost every day I want to tell you that not only is it okay to be cautious but also quite healthy. This type of object allows us to let go without compromising our vigilance and I find that really very, very good! This watch seems to me to have a lot of advantages in any case and it's a great discovery for me :) Thank you!
To begin with: I don't have children. I have looked after dozens of them in several families, and even if they were not mine, I understand the worry you may feel since having responsibility for several children I was sometimes like: OH SHIT IF I LETS YOU PLAY IN THE STREET WITH YOUR FRIENDS WHAT WILL HAPPEN (nothing, apart from a ball in the face or a scratched knee in fact).
And then like you, I remembered my childhood, my pre-adolescence, my adolescence and my young adult life... and the relationship with my parents. I was extremely brooded as a child and wasn't allowed to bike to school or activities – although my friends could. Pre-adolescence and adolescence, it was also very complicated for my parents who wanted to protect me… at the time I experienced it more as an obstacle to my freedom and my independence. Having a phone at 15 was able to calm things down: I sent messages when I arrived where I was allowed to go by bike, etc.
Today I regularly travel alone around the world and it is VERY complicated for my parents. But as you said so well: when you become a parent, you can only worry about your children all your life. And this will very probably (yes) also be the case for me when I have it. We have had a complicated relationship with my parents since I was a pre-teen because I thirsted for independence and they couldn't imagine that a girl (hello gendered upbringing) could go to friends' houses alone. For my brother, it was different, he's a man.
All this to say that perhaps this type of watch can be useful in the transition where your child becomes independent in their movements, to reassure the parent(s) at the start about the capacity of their child(ren). ) to manage yourself, but I think that it should not be systematic and especially not in the long term. It won't help anyone, least of all you: because the day it can't respond for x reasons (dead battery, the watch has taken on water, etc. etc.): you'll worry to death. I think it can take time for a parent to understand how their child is growing, but they need to be given more autonomy when they ask for it, because they need it to thrive. And the day your daughter no longer wants a watch because she will no longer accept that you can follow her route, you will not have had this adaptation phase necessary for a parent and I am afraid that it will be even more difficult for you two.
I am also convinced that this type of technology sells “false”: everything happens very (too) quickly when a child is attacked, and no parent could have time to act before they realize something. thing, show or not show.
I won't dwell on the data collected on your daughter's movements either, but that's one of the arguments why I'm quite against this type of technology.
The other day I was with a friend at a small village festival and her two children. She had written her phone number in letters on their arms so that they could play quietly and no one would worry and get angry all evening. At one point, someone called my friend to tell her that her children were at the bar and that they were looking for her. They are 5 and 8 years old. I found it great because everyone had a great evening without anxiety: they were not panicked when they no longer saw their parents.
Thank you for this feedback in any case, with once again a quality article.
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I totally understand what you are saying here. However, the anxiety phases if she doesn't respond/flat battery/etc. are the same as when she didn't have this watch and we went out, for example, to look for it in the street and we couldn't find it. I think that here we should not take this as ultimate security. Yes, if a child is kidnapped, shows or not…well he gets kidnapped. We can't do anything about this but a connected object allows, among other things, to follow a movement, to know "where" it took place, etc. which seems like a huge advantage to me when this sort of thing happens. In short, in all cases, as you say, a parent will always worry about their child. At 30 I still systematically send messages to my mother when I go on a trip to tell her that I have arrived safely 😅 and that seems normal to me. This watch should be seen as a plus, not a means of “controlling” children or hindering their need for autonomy, as we now give a cell phone to teenagers (which is essentially the same concept: delighting children and reassure parents ^^). I admit that I miss the time when things seemed simpler and more secure to me, but as they say, you have to live with the times and accept that the outside world today is quite unsafe for children (and adults). also by the way…)
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Hello Coline,
I don't have children but I completely understand the anxiety it can be!
I have already read several times that children have less and less autonomy (especially in terms of exit distance). I recommend this article which I found really interesting: http://www.slate.fr/story/92831/enfants-sortir
When I was little, I lived in a small town and I walked to school/home, I went to the library by bike, I went to buy bread by myself, etc. And yet I don't think the world was safer than it is today, I think it's just a feeling but not a reality. Moreover, I remember very well the fear that reigned at the time of the Dutroux affair but nevertheless, our parents continued to let us return “alone” with instructions to stay in groups as much as possible.
We are perhaps more aware of the risks today and we no longer support the idea of risk, even minimal (e.g. who of our generation has worn a helmet on a bike or scooter then today I imagine that if your child doesn't wear one, it's the equivalent of letting him walk on the balcony railing :D).-
Totally agree with you Lou!
I don't think the world is more dangerous today than it was 20 or 30 years ago. And frankly, kidnappings are still extremely rare...
It's just that now, as Lou says, we can't stand the idea of risk anymore. And we are ready to sacrifice our freedoms in the face of the promise of zero risk (spoiler: it doesn't exist)
I'm pushing this a bit, but the principle of the state of emergency is the same thing: we sacrifice our freedom of movement, our freedoms of communication, etc. all this to eradicate the risk of terrorism. And again it doesn't work.In short, in principle I'm against this kind of thing, but I don't have children, so I can hardly put myself in your place...
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Hello, what is the average battery life of the watch? THANKS!
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It lasts a whole day without problems, or even 2 days. Afterwards it also depends on the use… initially the battery drained quite quickly because our daughter spent her time fiddling with it and sending us messages etc. 😅 But now that this phase has passed, it is holding up very well 😊
Thank you very much for this article !!! My daughter is 9 years old and also asks for more autonomy (and a sic phone!) and this watch seems perfect to reassure the ultra-frightened mother that I am!
This would make a great Christmas gift!!!
Hello, great article! Thank you for this article! I find it great to be reassured like this. Isn't a sentence missing from the positive points? Regarding low battery? Personally, with everything that's happening today I wouldn't feel like tracking my child... as you say, it allows you to be reassured and empower your child... What a great invention, I agree too!
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Ah yes indeed… Oops! ^^
Great Coline, I’m really interested. My son will be 7 years old. Do you think it's early?
Besides, I think it's great to have your mom blogger report, it's quite rare! A change in progress?
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I have a little trouble projecting myself into the scenario of "7 year old child" but from the moment he understands how it works and is responsible enough to use it (= not send messages when he is in class etc. 😅 ) I think it's good 😇
Wow this is great ! I don't have children but I completely understand that this watch can be extremely reassuring. I'm going to talk to the parents around me about it :)
Hello Coline,
I found myself in your post too much, I also have a 10 year old daughter and I'm going through the same situations, "and why can't I walk to school by myself, and why can't I go buy bread all alone, I'm 10 years old now, and why can't I have a cell phone, I'm going to college soon, and why and why...”
With the news (little Maylis, not long ago), I am also anxious about the idea of letting my daughter come and go alone, but she is asking for greater autonomy which I can understand and hear but...
So this watch that you tell us about in your post is timely. I'm going to find out now. Thanks to you.
I am delighted to have read your review, my daughter is 3 months old and when I saw that these watches existed, I told myself from the start that I would buy one when she was older.
I'm very anxious about life and now it's even worse.
I know in advance that I'm going to be a very/too clingy mother and that I won't be able to let her go to school alone...
As you say, in the times we live in, we don't have much choice anymore. Whether it's in a very quiet area, with retirees or there's no one, only in a place where there's always people passing through and where we think it can't happen there, well yes.
Now, even at a crowded wedding with babysitting, a little girl goes missing and we still don't know what happened to her. And this is just one case among many others.
I'm already afraid that something like this will happen to my baby, even though at the moment she is with me non-stop and not at all old enough to wander around on her own.
In short, she will have a watch of this type.
And there are people who are already starting to tell me “and the non-stop waves are not very good…”
Surely yes, but to avoid the waves, we would already have to cut off all the wifi on the planet because there are clearly everywhere...
So the idea of waves obviously doesn't make me happy but as you explain so well, it's a good compromise to give them a little autonomy. Because letting my daughter play alone outside, I know in advance that I won't be able to, I can't deprive her of that or follow her constantly.
The difference there is that I will be constantly checking the GPS on his watch 😂😂
In short, I think that it is indeed a good solution to reassure yourself and let the child flourish and have a “normal” life.
You convinced me even more.
Last little sentence that I also hear “if she gets kidnapped, they will take away her watch”. Certainly, but that will allow you to see immediately that there is a problem.
Thank you for this discovery! My daughter is still little but I can already feel the kind of anxiety you are talking about. I am happy that this type of application exists, however I agree with you that it is a shame to come to this. “In my time” that would have been an aberration!
Oh, I understand you... it's true that we can seem a little psychorigid, but since we have these objects at our disposal, we might as well take advantage of them.
I have the same type of system (good, much more sophisticated and much less expensive since it is unbranded, and purchased in China) for the dog...which tends to chase deer and not find its way. Well that's great... for my product, the battery life is one week, running non-stop. And I'll put it in show mode for my son in a short time, because we're actually relieving a lot of stress. As said, just on the dog already, it relaxes well, then on a child….Now, the risk 0 does not exist, we cannot control anything of the danger, the unforeseen…but a little help, it helps always! It's a 'win-win' for parents and child... more autonomy on one side, and less stress on the other... what more could you ask for!
My 9 year old son has had it on his wrist for around 6 months and we are also delighted and reassured.
We live deep in the Vosges and he spends a lot of time cycling with his friends in the village.
Before I was extremely stressed (to the point of regularly going around the neighborhood to see if everything was okay #mereangoisséedelaviebonjour), now I'm more zen and this watch has taught me to trust it, to trust myself... to trust myself... to say that at his age I too played outside and that ultimately it was partly this autonomy that allowed me to grow.
The only small problem: my son! Who regularly forgets to put on their watch or recharge it before going out to play... :) As a result, I still sometimes ring the neighbors' doorbell, panicked, asking if by chance they have seen a little blond guy on a bike (#meremegaflipper #merepouleauborddelacrisedangst)… and to find this same blond guy playing in a friend’s garden…
Ah la la, it’s hard to let these little chicks grow up.
Ah it's funny, I discovered this watch this weekend with my almost 10 year old niece :-). I was given the number of steps to take during the walk, then the “sporting” activities which keep the child in good shape (useful for tiring them out hehe), video recording of auntie saying anything etc. On the other hand, I didn't understand the first principle at all (geolocation, possibility of sending voice messages, etc.) (at the same time, I wasn't really allowed to touch the machine...a private preserve!) and it’s absolutely brilliant! Thank you for this informed opinion!
My daughter is 2 years old so I'm not yet concerned about this type of object (although when we find ourselves in a huge crowd, anxiety builds up very quickly and I end up asking her father to carry her).
I still wanted to pick up on one point: you point out the difference between our time (we are the same age) and that of now. And yes we could stay on the street without causing our parents fear of death. But, for example, I had to systematically notify when I was changing location, I should under no circumstances stay alone outside (always be with friends) and I had to respect schedules. And even today (I'm an adult), when I have a long car journey or I go abroad, I always make a call (or a text) when I arrive at my destination to tell my mom that I am still alive...
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Ahah! Same here for the little text to Mom 😅
Cuckoo,
After reading this little (big) article, I would say that this watch looks really good! It reassures parents but gives the child freedom! In any case, if it suits everyone, that's the main thing!
Kisses,
Camille :)
No but the anxiety side 8000 in my arms Coline thank you I know!
And the “10 year old” crisis, my god, what a slap in the face: my baby, even though the eldest eh… who’s growing up: help! I'm not yet 40: his 10th birthday was my first age-related existential crisis!
He started going 50 meters alone, the pedestrian crossing is IN FRONT of our house (control freak mode content!), and worse then it was… 500m by bike: help! The day he came home in the dark (yes, there are street lights, I admit... but...) because we had skipped the time change and at 6:30 p.m. it was dark and we didn't have still installed the lights on his bike… I still remember it!
For the 3, we did our apprenticeship as parents by letting them go alone to the park which is behind our house and when I say behind it is on the edge of our garden: you jump over the hedge (and the fence, ouch) and there you are! For my daughter and my second son we relaxed a little about the underwear, especially since a year and a half apart they are still stuffed together.
My 14-year-old got a cell phone when he was almost 12 and a half years old because his brothers and sisters, 3 and 5 years younger, stopped daycare and came home alone (well...with a dozen kids and 3 moms from the neighborhood...) from school: several times they lost the landline (under the sofa, the duvet, etc.) when we urgently needed to contact them. So while we said the cell phone in 4th grade, we broke down at Christmas for his 5th grade year: a counterpart to his role as big brother while our respective jobs took up more of our time.
And here my daughter has just entered 6th grade: 6 months ago she left the famous park and disappeared for at least... 30 minutes: we called her everywhere before seeing an identical bike on the ground in an unknown garden... She had met a dance friend who had just moved and invited her over.
15 days ago, in a moment of madness I let her get on the bus so that we could meet up at home, I was on the bike and she was on foot: she missed the stop and got off at the next one. 1/4 delay during which I didn't dare enter the house for fear of getting killed by my boyfriend, I would have cried when I saw her arriving out of breath...
It's funny because just now during lunch break my colleague - whose daughter is the same age as mine - told me that they had given one of their old phones to their daughter. Her boyfriend has locked it so she can't install anything on her own etc, but he can locate it etc... In short, they use it in a similar way to this watch. And in her specific case I understand: they don't work where they live, she is an only child, etc. I would have done the same! And I'm going to check the watch...
The time change makes me anxious to death again because I can't accompany him to his Tuesday guitar lesson, he goes alone mamma mia... I'm going to the garage to check the lights on all the bikes!! !
I don’t think I’ve written you a comment this long in years! That means I LOVE your article!!!
I think it makes sense! And I don't have children yet, that's to say! If there is a way to reduce the stress of not knowing where your child is, it can only be a good thing!
And what else is there for the little ones? ;)
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Someone talked about it in the comments, there are simpler “trackers” to slip into the bottom of the bag 😊
I find this article where you talk about your daughter very touching but on the other hand I can't help but be frightened by the GPS function. Every step forward toward security is a step backward toward freedom. I think that, unfortunately, going beyond the limits imposed by parents is part of the process of emancipation.
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Thank you for this feedback, I felt a little strange reading this article and all the enthusiastic comments.
I don't have children so maybe the day I have them I will understand. But here I find it more very frightening than anything else to have children whose parents can follow their movements at any time. Growing up and emancipating yourself also means disconnecting from your parents, I think (as you say very well).
Not to mention that this type of watch creates an incalculable amount of data on children... What happens to the data on children's movements with these watches? Who are they sold to? While the child is not able to make a choice on this…There you go, once again I'm not in this situation so I can't judge, in no case does my comment mean "boooooo that's bad", but it makes me a little funny when I read that, because I I have the impression that it seems natural to everyone even though it is a choice.
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I understand your reactions and it's a bit of the Black Mirror effect that I discuss in the "minuses" but I think it is also important to put things in context: this watch is intended for young children, not to teenagers aged 12/13 or over 😉 Obviously going beyond the limits is important but not at 8, 9 or 10 years old 😳 Or at least not by deciding, for example, not to go to the school in the morning and hanging out alone in the street (well, personally, it's just not possible for me at all 😂 ) And then it all also depends on how you use it. As far as we are concerned, we don't spend the day with our eyes glued to the app to see where she is, it's more about being sure that she arrived at school in the morning or calling her when she's at a friend's house so she can come home. As for the data, it is completely anonymous and absolutely not resold to anyone (this is where we move away from Black Mirror haha! 😉)
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It's funny, I have the impression that most of the not-too-enthusiastic comments related to this watch come from those "without children", as I am... I admit that I don't always understand these permanent anxieties and this, little no matter the age. Indeed, there is an undeniable “black mirror” effect, I find. I still remember the episode where the mother equipped her child with a chip in the brain to know her actions in real time and censor the violent scenes of life that would disturb her child. This one is crazy!! So indeed, perhaps too much techno kills techno and that creates addictions and needs in the long term. Need to check where your child is, obligation for him to notify you as much as possible of his movements, panic if no answer... Like the telephones upon entry to college to "notify mom if I have a gap hour » or 'if I have a problem, let her come and get me'. I'm 36 years old and like you, I think that times change, in both good and bad ways... At the time, when there was a problem, we stayed on "perm" or went to see the nurse if necessary. The parents worked, were therefore unavailable and were often not aware of everything. And yet :-)
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Mother of two girls aged 10 and 13, I also wonder about the tracker... I am not an intrusive mother, I don't want to know minute by minute what they are doing but I would like to be notified if they go out of town and I would like to be able to locate them if unfortunately something happened to them. I almost got picked up in a car by two guys the year I turned 15, very good reflexes and my running training probably saved me... In short, without thinking about it constantly, I know it can happen to no one. no matter who, anywhere... I find that this kind of object allows you to “let your children live” without harassing them on the phone or without getting upset as soon as they are outside.
Good morning
This article rather frightened me, so I allow myself to give my opinion, which is quite clear-cut, but which remains a simple opinion to be taken as such, of course.
I understand the enthusiastic reactions because, in my opinion, these kinds of products give an illusion of security and play on the natural (and sometimes legitimate) fears of all parents.
I don't have children, but I think that having found myself in a situation of being responsible for one or more children gives an idea of what it can sometimes bring about in terms of visceral terrors (losing a child, he gets hurt, gets kidnapped/attacked, etc.).
I worked with young people with disabilities who had exactly the same concerns as other people their age, but whose main problem was getting rid of the anxieties and sometimes heavy control of their worried parents who tended to overprotect them because of their disability. Even more for them than for the able-bodied, autonomy was the aim of their support. Having been in contact with people who are struggling for their autonomy has made me aware of the value of it, and how it is essential to fulfilling oneself as an adult.
It is obvious to me that autonomy is the goal of all education; We don't raise children so that they stick to us for life, do we? But I think that this type of tool harms this autonomy.
I remember a school trip taken when I was eight years old, during ten days, we were only allowed one call to our families, made in the middle of the stay with the help of a phone booth. This was not shocking at the time, we were supervised by teachers, at the slightest problem they would have contacted our families, but I wonder if today this would be possible. I have a friend who worked in summer camps, and he told me that more and more with the arrival of cell phones, organizers had decided to ban them during the stay... to prevent certain parents from harassing literally their children by calling them up to several times a day. In the ideology of people who work in this type of environment, where school holidays away from parents are used precisely to learn to gain autonomy and flourish outside the family cocoon, there is nothing more harmful than parents who cannot let their children live without them and thus risk keeping them in a dependency that is necessarily incompatible with responsibility (such as the fact that a child is capable of applying rules not to please or out of fear , but because he has internalized them). It is sometimes very difficult, but making a child responsible means trusting them (even if it depends on each child and we act differently depending on their age, at the end of primary school they are often the ones asking for it themselves)
I also wonder if the need to constantly monitor children does not amount to presenting the world to them as essentially a source of danger and anxiety. I wonder if by acting in this way, they do not risk becoming excessively neurotic adults... As if indirectly, the "trackers" would mean that they are in constant danger and that they need to be monitored 24 hours a day...
And precisely regarding this “worrying” world, it is surely more so in reality than thirty years ago, but would this anxiety not be exacerbated by the hyper-mediatization of the slightest news item, Wouldn't we be especially influenced or even bludgeoned by terribly distressing messages from all sides? Our parents had neither the internet nor Twitter... The terribly anxiety-inducing effect of the attacks, for example, should not make us forget that these are currently one-off events (they do not happen every month in France), just like child abductions which fortunately do not happen every week...
Basically, for me, this type of tool not only removes responsibility from children, is symptomatic of a difficulty in “cutting the cord”, reflects a state of mind which can lead to excessive dependence on parents at age. adult, but it even raises questions of private freedom: if we track children, why not also track adults? Are they completely safe too? To take the reasoning a little further, why not move towards a world where we would all be chipped and geolocated, to be able to reassure those around us? (and incidentally maintain the ambient psychosis, give money to those who profit from this trade in fear, and take the risk that our data is collected - even if it is not officially, in terms of digital data, nothing is ever sure-, resold, used for malicious purposes…)
Stupid question: what if a pervert manages to crack the security of this type of bracelet and access the data? This would also allow him to know precisely where your child is... Not to mention that the protection of this bracelet against possible attack is entirely relative, anyone would have the time to remove a child, bracelet or not.
For me, this type of tool is marketed (in a context where the smartphone market is starting to be saturated, we have to find new customers, namely children) with the aim of making money on anxiety parents, and the only really valid argument, namely potential safety in the event of attack, is completely vain.
Perhaps the call function could be interesting occasionally in certain situations to the extent that there are no longer telephone booths and where for a child of this age, a watch with limited call functions is more relevant than a cell phone. But here again, another problem arises, which is that of children's exposure to electromagnetic waves... (in nursery schools, wifi is about to be banned, and for the WHO, mobile phones are "perhaps be carcinogenic to humans” and recommends against its use in children under twelve years of age)
Sorry for the ramble :/
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Your article is very interesting and provides a good summary of the “minuses” of this type of product. It also seems to me that this watch is so enormous that a possible kidnapper would have quickly spotted it and removed it... The fact remains that it is an interesting alternative to the cell phone, and that it can unfortunately prove useful... I'm not really objective, I was like Coline and many other mothers particularly worried about my daughter's safety. Added to this legitimate concern was our difficult experience of the Nice attack, and I realized that if we had been separated in panic (which was the case for several children), my daughter would have had to no longer able to manage this situation... She was 7 years old, but did not know any telephone number, and I realized that she would not have been able to provide the necessary information so that one of our loved ones could be contacted quickly. Of course these situations remain very exceptional, and their over-publicization further exacerbates our anxieties, but they exist and it proves very difficult to sort things out... Although your comment is quite convincing, it is very possible that I directs one day towards this type of product…
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I think that this type of object only reassures parental anxieties but is in no way beneficial for the child. I'm 25 years old, and at the time I didn't have a phone or trackers. Maybe my parents were also anxious, but that's the way things are, and we have to learn to live with that, to overcome our fears and to trust our children without needing to "monitor" them constantly. . With such an object, even if you trust your daughter and your partner, there is always a middle object between your trust in her. You might think that this makes her responsible but no, it obliges her, because if she “flinches” well her parents will know immediately. She can no longer do anything other than take the right path that you impose on her, and therefore absolutely cannot emancipate herself little by little. There is no establishment of accountability or real trust in her.
Thank you Coline for this article, I had heard about it but this review is very complete! Ok my daughter is only 2 years old but I can't help but think of the situation in which you found yourself! So it's not for now but you convinced me!! The price remains to be seen…but by the time I need it, all the kids will surely have it!^^
And what about the waves that must probably “flood” the child?
Hi Coline,
Thank you for this article. I don't have children either, but I agree with CLAPS' comment.
I too was very looked after by my parents (who seem like normal people otherwise). Which implies: no right to go out most of the time, out of the question of going to summer camp, these places run by inexperienced young people :/ Out of the question of going to play with other children, for example the afternoons managed by activity leaders in the campsite or holiday village, you never know... Result: I was very alone, particularly in the summers, and above all I had the impression, each time I returned to school, of being left behind by others, in terms of new experiences and personality development.
I never went out in high school and I'm spending the student period where they showed up at my house at 10:00 p.m. to check that I was at home and alone (etc. etc.), and the copping lasted a very long time. Obviously, for my brother, it was much less.
Result: I developed a disproportionate attraction to secrecy, to exist as a person. So, I'm lying, mostly by omission. They know almost nothing about my life anymore, it happened gradually. I never tell them when I'm going on vacation (in particular, things like packing alone abroad ;), when I have to give an emergency contact, for an association or a job, I never give their contact details. I inform friends, who in case of extreme emergency, have the contact details of my parents. They are not aware of the work I do, the studies I have done (only partially), and obviously, they do not know my friends, nor my occasional boyfriends. And I went to live abroad.
I also have a complicated relationship with the cell phone (yet, at the end of the 90s, I got my first phone at 16, but it remains a rather painful moment in my life, I had the impression of having a virtual leash). In fact, without realizing it, I think I go out without it half the time, and at home it is always in a corner of the house where I don't hear it ring.
And no, I haven't cut ties with them, we have to see each other once every three months.
In short, all this to say that it is part of the job of parents to accept that your children become people, autonomous, different from you and what you project onto them, and support them on this path. And that we cannot deprive an individual of his freedom and prevent him from making his own decisions, from making his own experiences, from discovering himself, from making mistakes, from meeting people very different from his background. , under the pretext that we are his parents and that we are afraid. Childhood is a very important period of construction, I imagine that we all have moments, people that we remember and who have marked us for a long time.
So, when I see this kind of object, I'm afraid of what it could become in the hands of hyper-anxious parents. But hey... anyway, it's just a tool, among the measures you put in place to protect your child. It's just that the line between protection and stifling, even and especially with the best feelings in the world, is thin, and is really worth thinking about (which is what you are doing, eh, precisely by writing this article, I just expresses my experience on the risks linked to the lack of perspective on one's anxiety).
Good day!
Like other mothers, I really liked this article and this detailed review of the smartWatch.
I notice that those who do not understand our motherly anxieties are not yet mothers themselves. I have the impression that some have been too brooding and talking about it in a more specialized context would be of great help to them in freeing themselves from this memory of suffocation.
When my daughter is old enough to go out alone, I will not hesitate for a single second to equip her with a connected object of this type. Even if I am not one of those who say “it was better before”, I nevertheless believe that before it was different and that children grew up in a less violent world (I am talking about violence in the broad sense) .
We find it normal to equip a child entering 6th grade with a mobile phone, so why not instead equip them with this type of watch which allows them to maintain a link without the child being linked to yet another screen .
I also don't see how a connected object of this type harms the child's autonomy. I find that, on the contrary, it makes him responsible (he must pay attention to this valuable object) and allows him to gain autonomy since he has the possibility of managing his time and his trips outside the house while reassuring if necessary. . In this way he can prove to the adult that he remains available and locatable and gain more autonomy.
I don't think this only reassures the parents, because the child can also feel reassured by being able to be located if necessary. Besides, Coline, couldn't you ask your daughter to share her feelings on her watch and publish it following this article? We would then have his child's point of view and that would advance the discussion.
Every hour, 5 children disappear (disturbing disappearance, parental abduction, runaway, etc.) and even if most are found, I think of the families of those who remain untraceable (11,000 more each year). A quick visit to the 116 000 site allows you to better understand a parent's anxiety:
http://www.116000enfantsdisparus.fr/avis-de-recherche/disparitions-en-cours.html
I am an “old” mother: as a child, without a cell phone, internet and continuous news, with a state channel and the radio, I was very marked by child kidnappings, I always came home without parents from school, around 7 years old, a small group, 10 minutes journey, and I trembled every day passing in front of the huge salt box for the ice, fearing a kidnapper hidden inside…… like what and indeed when we “forgot” to come home, my mother was looking for us in a panic.
I understand the theoretical posts on education very well, I share them and I did this with my son, in shared custody we have to trust and we learn for him to live without us.
Sophie's parents were abusive, we see her reaction.
The watch or other connection can be a sharing of responsibility with the child or reassure him, we are talking about 10 years there.
I especially wanted to say that when you become a mother you grow a seed of anxiety, which is initially vital but which sometimes overwhelms you, overwhelms you and prevents you from rationalizing…..piou piou is now 19 years old, it It's much worse than when I was 10, and sometimes it's difficult despite all my principles.
Hello Coline,
I'm 32 years old, I grew up in a small town where we played in the street with friends and my parents (very, very anxious) didn't always let me go out. I think they had confidence in me but their fear exceeded that confidence. I tell myself that this little girl wouldn't have avoided a kidnapping or a car hitting you but would have at least calmed them down. They were already less stressed for my little brother because it was the cell phone era.
For my part, I am a teacher in Paris and I have no children. I always have this pang of anxiety when the students can go home alone, the parents call the school because in fact they didn't come home but went to the park and you find yourself reassuring parents: "I I'm sure your child won't be long, he must be at the park..."
and you say to yourself in your head: “damn but I hope he's really in the fucking park” (yeah when you're anxious you don't talk like a mistress at all).
I think it's good to give your child autonomy, but I don't blame parents who, for example, refuse to let their children come home from school alone or don't want them to do certain activities. The anxiety is uncontrollable, especially when it is for a child. This watch seems to me to be a good alternative for teaching children to become independent and reassuring parents. And I even find that explaining to your child that it's not a toy but a real tool (like you did with your daughter) is pretty cool, it's real learning that's already happening for lots of everyday objects. I would have even put that in the “pluses”…
It does the same to me and my daughter is 14. Well, she has a cell phone but every time we pass a stage we get even more upset while saying to ourselves, “what the hell? How much simpler it was when she was 13! ".
Hello Coline,
It's certainly a very good tool, but I can't help but think that it also causes additional anxiety. It is much more likely that our children will be knocked down in the street by a guy (or girl for that matter) completely drunk, OR NOT, than to be kidnapped by a stranger. We obviously hear more about kidnappings than pedestrian accidents, even if they involve children. I live in a small town, and every day when I accompany my son (7 years old… he still hasn't balked….) I see Crazy People! who drive like crazy people! in a 30 km/h zone in front of a school. So yes, this watch can be reassuring. Or we can also reason with ourselves. Without any judgments... to each their own...
I don't subscribe at all, not at all, to this new mania for “digital leashes”.
Learning to trust your child and making him understand that he has a duty to follow the rules and deal with parental concern seem to me to be normal stages of learning. Why require him to be systematically accountable? Since that's how I perceive it... By checking his location, we verify that his child is where he said he was, that he is doing what he said he was doing. How can we create this trust when, in any case, the child does not have the freedom to deviate? Wouldn't trust be healthier if it followed a real desire on the part of the child to stay within the framework rather than an obligation because “mommy and daddy know everything”.
I understand that you are not using this watch with the intention of stalking your daughter, rather as a way to reassure yourself and let her experience a certain form of “freedom” without overwhelming her with your worry. But I still can't help but think that it's just a gadget that only delays the moment when you're really going to have to trust it...
That said, I really enjoyed reading your maternal considerations: touching. :)
Hello Coline,
I really liked your article and makes me wonder about it later... My daughter is only 2 years old at the moment 😅 I took the liberty of sending you a little email because this article also questions me about a another point… Looking forward to reading you and thank you for this “life of Mummy” article 😄
Honestly, it’s a great article and I love the idea of the connected watch!!! I am a single mother of a handsome 6 year old boy and I might as well tell you that I am stressed about life, what concerns my son (well on certain points) but frankly the idea of this watch is excellent! We currently live on our small island lost in the Pacific, in our small, fairly quiet village, there are no “kidnappings” at home, we are lucky! but I know that in a short year we will be moving to another country and knowing that my son will have to go to a bigger school and especially in a bigger city is already stressing me out!!! (yes I'm already stressed even though I still have 365 days before taking the plane!!! lol) So knowing that this kind of "technology" exists really comforts me!!! because yes (when I was 26) I didn't know that this type of watch existed!!! So frankly #THANK YOU Coline!!!
I kiss you and I adore you!! kisses to your little family
Thank you Coline, for this information, I too have a daughter (7 years old) and these questions will arise soon
Good evening,
I would like to share this article on the subject, which is in line with what I think about this type of product, even beyond the “virtual leash” side and the waves potentially experienced by the child.
Mr.
I'm pregnant with my first child, what do you mean it's not possible to give him a watch already? Shit then. More seriously, I'm not a mother yet (or only half?) and although he's still in my belly, I'm already worried. I think that's what it's like to be a loving parent, not a choice. I am totally FOR this type of watch, I find that as you say it avoids the portable box where they will inevitably use it to do a lot of things and yet we feel secure in knowing where they are and being able to join them. And for those who find it akin to espionage to “geolocate” (the good 2.0 word) your child, know that you are doing exactly the same thing but even more annoying when you send him 15 text messages a day asking him where he is. is, only the interface and the degree of “reloutitude” changes. Thank you for this great article Coline!
Hello Coline,
Under the tree my granddaughter will find this great Kiwip Watch….Whaouuuuuu….it will be Happiness for her and of course for us too who will be reassured to know it is “Safe”.👍🎄🎁🎅🏻
Obviously in the beginning it will be the Slip Festival 😂with us these grandparents….We were 🧒 too, we understand very well.
Thank you for your comments which reflect reality.
Merry Christmas to you and your family 🎉
Patricia…(Mamy)
Good morning. The maximum geolocation distance between the parent's phone and the child's watch
Good morning,
great all this information.
A quick question: what bothers me is already “tracking” my child, and also, if one day it doesn't work for X reason, panic is guaranteed.
Then I ask myself questions about the waves.
Knowing that my child has a 3G module on his handle all day long that emits and receives waves…. It scares me a little.
Do you know if 3G is disconnected in 'class' mode?
THANKS
Thank you for this precise opinion and your writing, which is always so pleasant to read, full of authenticity… My daughter is eight years old, my big 16. I have done a lot of work on this to no longer let myself be guided by my anxieties where I arrive to better express it to them like: “I forbid you from doing that because I’m afraid. Nothing to do with you but it worries me, I'm afraid of this, this and that…. » and then we find solutions that satisfy both me and their need for freedom.
With the big one, a fan of concerts, I learned to let him go out without sinking into the ground until his return and taught him to reassure me when I asked him.
I have to do without this watch for my daughter for economic reasons unfortunately but I will not prevent her from living. Long live autonomy, long live freedom, long live children!